Paper: a delicacy

Today I started eating a paper plate, I have in the past consumed entire pieces of paper in my boredom. However this certain paper plate tasted rather nasty. I have spent a while now considering the taste and textures of various types of paper (my mom just called me weird)  (I am now also typing without my glasses) and I have come to the conclusion that the paper sticks from tootsie pops taste the best, it also is the (and glasses back on) best textured. In my time I have eaten many a type of paper. Cardboard is too hard and tastes like a piece of wood. Lined paper is number two, if it is nice and thin it is a delicacy. printer paper is too thick too begin with and tastes too chemicaly. I could continue but I have already instructed you on the best kinds of paper. Now if you are ever trapped in the Dunder Mifflin warehouse during the zombie apocalypse you will be able too not only survive, but thrive.