Sunday, 19 May 2013

At my funeral

I know that my death will be one of the greatest tragedy to ever occur. However, I want everyone to enjoy themselves. Just because I'm not there is no reason that everyone can't have a good time. First at the reception there will be a guy dressed as the Grim Reaper. He won't do anything, he will just stand there. Finally at the end he will walk over to the coffin, place his hand over my heart, and chant a long eerie tune with no actual words for about a minute. He will then walk out and disappear into the night as it will be dark. At the funeral everyone must say an embarrassing story about themselves. Next there will be cake and food. Finally as they lower my coffin into the ground they will play music from Doctor Who, Lord of The Rings, Star Wars, or possibly some good old Christian rock. As people are placing their roses it will be quite tearful and suddenly whilst everyone's attention is on the coffin Monster by Skillet begins to play! The song plays until the drums begin, The Grim Reaper reappears with a single black rose he slowly walks forward with said single black rose, Monster still blaring. Followed by a procession of villains which includes Darth Vader (with an escort of two stormtroopers each with a white rose), Sauron, and hopefully Voldemort, among others. They simply put their roses on the coffin and walk away as the song ends (The Reaper stays). Not one of them says anything except for Vader who says "The Force was strong with him". At the end the reaper throws the last shovelful of dirt and leaves once again. Not having said a word this whole time.
If you think my funeral could be improved please drop a comment below.

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