Just text me back already

Sometimes when I'm texting someone they take a super long time too respond. Needless to say I assume that they have died and it is my duty to find and eliminate the murderer. With sorrow in my heart I retrieve my compound bow, arrows, throwing knives, katana, skindoo, and machete. I begin my arduous journey too avenge the death of my friend. Along the way I begin too hone my skills, eliminating roving bands of marauders, wolves, thugs, creatures, and orcs. Finally the time comes to finish what I started out too do, then  they return my text so I go home and sit on the couch.