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So sayeth I, Joe, supreme leader of the earth.

Fair warning what I just posted was offensive and a declaration of interstellar war in five alien cultures.

Conquering the world. Plan # 1

Plan number one for conquering the world, Kittens....... lots and lots of kittens. It's quite simple really. First I give everyone a kitten. Awwwwww, Cute! then the kittens slit half their throats in the night. Everyone is terrified and is ready to surrender. Suddenly a hero emerges.... ME! I fend off all the kittens. We create thick walls around the last of humanity so nothing can get in or out. BUT! I left an opening. all the kittens get in and help trap the remaining humans. Game over. I now rule the world with and iron paw!
And so it was that the world fell to Joe.