The future of carrots

What is the future of carrots? Isn't it obvious? World domination. The way I see it, carrots are in a prime position for takeover. Carrots grow on almost every continent and have a variety of species including purple. Now, carrots are constantly evolving. Sooner or later the carrots will evolve to the point at which the can move and think on their own accord. When this happens they will start destroying our food supplies as revenge for having eaten them for so long. When we are starving and have little power left the carrots will step in and overpower us, making us their slaves. Before long we will be working in the fields helping grow their young. To maintain power the carrots force us to eat all other vegetables and fruits to keep them in check so that their is no chance of anything rising against them in their new position as the dominant species on the planet. Also they exterminate their natural predator, the rabbit.

Battle of the blogs Round 1: Light fixtures

Light fixtures, I was wondering why light fixtures are always attached to objects. Why limit ourselves? I am currently designing the light fixture nipple, tongue, and nose piercings. I for one hate when I'm wandering around somewhere new and the lights go out. No problem, stick out your tongue, flare your nostrils or take your shirt off and voilà, instant lighting. Now, some of you may be wondering, are these light fixture piercings safe? Well, no physical damage occurs but they were tested on prettyflycampguy.blogspot.ca so the mental effects are up for you to decide. These piercings come as a variety of light fixtures, ranging from a porch lamp to chandeliers. Prettyflycampguy spent two weeks wearing nothing but lamps over his nipples. Our light fixtures are much smaller and comfortable. Now some people believe that our nipple piercings were all cursed. Have no fear, we tested them all on prettyflycampguy and aside from the fact that his nipples started lactating monkeys nothing occurred. Well, that and the fact that his gender changed, and before you ask no, he did not become a woman. His gender simply changed we are not sure into what. But I digress, our light fixtures are top quality. As is my body.